Tell us about who you are as a writer. What inspires the creativity behind your writing?

(MR): Growing up in India, I enjoyed books that brought different parts of the world into my little nook. Reading was an inexpensive way to take trips without buying a plane ticket or packing my bags! Apart from the stories themselves, the richness of the settings brought places to life in my mind. It stoked my love of travel. When I ultimately visited these places, it was almost a sense of coming home. Thanks to the vivid details portrayed, places and things looked and felt familiar. I hope to do that in my writing. I write fiction, non-fiction and poetry. I like an element of surprise in my stories.

Inspiration comes from different sources — from the world around me, from other writers, a random word or phrase heard in the passing that sticks with you for years and begs to be given a story. I am intrigued by human interactions and the what-ifs of a situation.

The good news: Inspiration is everywhere, ripe for the picking. The bad news: There is more inspiration than I can ever hope to write about!

Aside from being an author, do you have any other interests or hobbies that you partake in during your free time?

(MR): When I step away from writing, I like to step into my dancing shoes. I enjoy the Argentine Tango and Salsa. Music is like a magic portal; it lays bare the heart and soul of a culture and I adore the romance of Spanish songs. I also have a yen for collecting stationery, though I don’t need another journal, cards or writing instrument.

I love antiquing. One of my all-time favorite finds are these metal letterpress blocks that I came upon when antiquing in Brighton. Treasure! They brought together my love of letters, travel and antiquing! Discovering new neighborhoods locally is also fun; sometimes, even taking a different route to familiar places can feel wholly different and gives me a new perspective. I also enjoy the opera and am the Newsletter Editor for the Friends of Opera San José.

Your poem “Désolée” won first place for the Effie Lee Morris Award. What was your inspiration for this piece? What are some key takeaways that you would like to highlight?

(MR): Désolée was born from a place of despair. The tragic Paradise fires were raging when I wrote it. Two years later, in 2020, “destruction and disease” did come knocking very urgently on our doors (destruction of life as we knew it), so one of my friends said I should tear up the poem and throw it away (hard to do with a digital version) because she found this unsettling and prophetic. The poem is from the perspective of a soon-to-be mother who is loath to bring her children into this world. I remember feeling like this when I was expecting, but things are so much worse now. Each year the fires have got worse. The air quality has become worse. Climate concerns aside, wars have wrecked the world.

Désolée is an apology to the future generations. It is a dystopic projection of a macabre childhood that could be seemingly normal. Where would children play hide and seek after Earth is ravaged? No trees to hide behind nor treehouses in their backyard, but coffins would become hiding places. All that is left to amuse themselves with are gruesome games played with blown-up body parts. It was a dark poem to write. There was more gore in my drafts, but I cut it short — maybe a good thing!

I appreciate your positive outlook on the environment and moving towards a better world. Is there any advice or specific practices you would recommend in order to combat climate change and become more eco-friendly?

(MR): It was quite a shock when I learnt that all the plastic I was painstakingly recycling was not actually being recycled or even recyclable. According to Greenpeace only 9% gets recycled — worldwide. So, if most plastics were not getting recycled, the only thing I could do was to limit my consumption of plastics. We can wait for policies to effect change and corporations to step up to the plate, but in parallel, we, as individuals, are not powerless. Small changes to our lifestyles will collectively make a big difference.

Think “no waste” or “little waste” when buying things. The following are just a few tips for our day-to-day lives:

Grocery shopping: Skip plastic bagging larger items. Do we need a sack of potatoes or our milk in a plastic bag? Cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumber, and other larger fruits and vegetables don’t need the smaller veggie bags either. Best to take your own bags, of course.

Delivery: Bundle items together, when you can, rather than using One-Day Delivery. Re-use packaging boxes and materials, or offer to share with your friends and community before recycling them.

Laundry: Use eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets — these eliminate the gigantic plastic jugs altogether and some are also free of parabens, phthalates and bleaches. Wait until you have a full load before doing laundry.

Parties: Be a maverick! Be daring and have parties without balloons. Mylar balloons never degrade. Helium is a non-renewable resource that is used in the medical field — not to be taken lightly. Latex balloons take about four years to degrade. Its “biodegradable” claims have been found to be greenwashing. Instead, opt for festoons and bunting in paper or cloth. Making and stringing these with friends and family can be a great social activity.

My articles on how to be kinder to Earth and to oceans have more tips. #SaveSoil

What is the story behind your upcoming non-fiction novel “Crushing Etiquette”?

(MR): My trip to the UK unexpectedly opened up the opportunity to write “Crushing Etiquette”. I was training at The British School of Etiquette (now Excellence) in London to become an etiquette coach. I just happened to share with the Principal, Philip Sykes, that writing an etiquette book was on my wish list. Once I finished training, he invited me to collaborate on a book with him.

It was a fun book to write and a great partnership. There is something for readers who enjoy language, trivia and fun facts, as well as those who want to get right into the crux of things. Rather than just have “rules” I interviewed people internationally to share anecdotes from their lives to make a point. Some of these stories will make you laugh; others are of the “OMG, really?” nature.

Apart from social, dining, business and social-media etiquette, Philip and I wanted to bring in emotional intelligence, as E.Q. plays an important part in how one navigates one’s relationships. We also included international etiquette, the art of conversation and listening – all designed to give readers a boost in different aspects of their lives.

Crushing Etiquette has been a labor of love and the labor for birthing it has been a long one! There have been unexpected hiccups and hurdles to contend with, along the way. We have not set a launch date yet, but have our fingers crossed for early 2024.

Tell us about your spiritual poetry book and how it relates to who you are as a writer/author.

(MR): The Pandemic was a terrible time for the whole world, of course. I had some additional challenges that set me on the spiritual path. Forced to withdraw from the outside world, I connected with my inner world, through the teachings of India’s famous mystic, Sadhguru. His course, Inner Engineering, helped me stay mentally strong and gave me tools to find inner joy, rather than depending on external circumstances to be joyful. Through Sadhguru, I found the Divine Feminine, Devi, and was astounded by how the Universe supports you.

The title poem “33 Syllables” was inspired by a feeling of humility when trying to make an offering to God, during an Indian festival. Here is a sneak peek: a short poem and a haiku.

33 Syllables

what can I offer you Devi

flowers… coconut…

milk… moong?

there’s nothing I can call my own Dear One

even my breath is your gift.

Doggess

through Ginger’s deep gaze

you look at me. I call You

my girl, lovingly.

Connecting with the self, the marvelous life around us and the larger whole are the themes of my upcoming chapbook. My poems are not religious, but rather a universal reflection on life and the magic of creation. 

What’s next for you? Is there anything else you would like to add or your possible plans for the future? 

(MR): Currently, I have a number of loose ends that are threatening to trip me.  Once I tie them up nicely, and get “Crushing Etiquette” to lift off, I would like to focus on my short fiction. This will be a collection of stories based on my immigrant experiences, which deal with expectations from the family you left behind, trying to fit in, of being new, being the other. 

I would also like to grow my business  Top Form Academy where I teach business communication and etiquette. I love the a-ha moments when students and clients understand the Why of doing something, rather than thinking they are following a random rule. Or when students come back and say how the course gave them confidence to handle a new situation. My favorite program? Afternoon Tea — hands down (and pinkies in)! 

Interview by Fran Quittel

Arriving from Barcelona to study in the United States in 1992, WNBA-SF Board member and author Isidra Mencos talks about her recent memoir Promenade of Desire—A Barcelona Memoir (She Writes Press, October 2022), her expanding writing career, and how she uses her talent to both write and also strategically market her work.  

As we began your interview, Isidra, I asked you to read one of your favorite passages from your writing, and you selected a key moment in your memoir when you discover salsa music and dancing. You said this is really the re-opening of your body to sensuality after sexual trauma. I’d love to hear how a woman born near Barcelona in Franco’s Spain was able to write this open, self-revealing work and the journey that enabled you to do this?   

(IM): Yes, absolutely. I was born in Spain, in my grandfather’s house in Santa Margarita, a small Catalan town close to Barcelona, while my family was on vacation. I completed my Bachelor’s degree in Spain, where I studied Spanish and French Literature. Then, because I was dating a guy in the United States who discussed studying here, I applied to enter a Ph.D. program in Spanish and Latin American Literature at the University of California in Berkeley. I really didn’t even know what a Ph.D. program was and what it would entail. Initially I thought the PhD lasted only two years, as it did in Spain, and that I would return to Barcelona after I finished. However, the Ph.D. program at Berkeley took six years, and after I met the man who became my husband three years later, I got married and stayed in the U.S.   

Did you become an academic after your studies at Berkeley?

(IM): Actually only for a short time. Since there really weren’t full-time positions in my major, I worked in two jobs for about eight years. I became a lecturer at UC Berkeley, and I also launched my business as an editor for Spanish speaking media.  My big breakthrough came in 2006, when I decided to expand my work totally outside of academia and I found a job with a digital company called babycenter.com which was launching its website and digital products in Spanish. I was hired as the Executive Editor of Baby Center en Español, and then was promoted to Editorial Director of the Americas, managing the company’s teams in Latin America, including Brazil, Spain, and also in Canada. I stayed with babycenter.com for 10 years and then in 2016, I decided to focus more on creative writing. At the same time, I launched my own business as a writing coach, developmental editor and ghostwriter. I am also a certified interpreter.

Were you already writing creatively in English? 

(IM): My trajectory was not exactly a straight line. Initially, I wrote in Spanish. I published a book of short stories in Spanish at the end of the 90’s and I also wrote an academic book published in Catalan which won an award in Barcelona, but I didn’t write consistently at that time.

However, in 2014, I started taking classes online in memoir writing offered by Stanford University, and I needed to present my work in English. This meant that although I always wrote in English, I only started writing creatively in English in 2015, after I was in the United States for 25 years.  

Does writing in English work for you?

(IM):  Yes, very well. Actually I think in English and I love writing in English—with occasional help from a Thesaurus! I love language and words, and being multi-lingual has several advantages. First of all, my memoir was about my sexual awakening: my journey from repressed Catholic girl to becoming a seductive and empowered salsa dancer as Spain transitioned from dictatorship to democracy.  By writing in English, I could be more open about this awakening and feel “freer” because my family doesn’t read English. Although eventually the book will come out in Spanish, this gave me a soft landing with fewer things to worry about. Also, Spanish is 20% longer than English, more florid with longer grammar structures.  When I am writing in English, I feel I have a more precise voice, a more direct voice.

So, did you go directly from babycenter.com in Spanish to Promenade of Desire in English?

(IM):  Yes. The book of short stories in Spanish that I published many years ago came out when I knew nothing about the literary world. It was published in a tiny edition by two women I met at a writers’ conference who had just launched a publishing house in Texas. They really had no distribution, and I had no idea about marketing. While I did a successful event to launch the book, I mostly just gave those books away. I wasn’t serious about launching myself as a writer and after that, I didn’t write creatively for many years.

However, it was my dream to be a committed writer, which I decided to do in 2016 when I gave up what was a very plush corporate job with a lot of prestige for my love of writing. 

How did you support yourself?

(IM):  I was actually the main breadwinner in my family for a long time and I had to organize my finances and support my family at the same time I was reaching out to live my dream. When I made this switch, my husband – who is now a DJ working gigs- worked in a non-profit and then there was a recession in 2008 and he was only working part-time. However, I had saved money and had vested stock options which could help me during the first three years after leaving my job.  Additionally, I had the support of my family.  I knew that my husband and my son, who was not even a teenager then, would support me by tightening their belts. I also worked part-time and used my saved income, and my family said we could live a modest life and we would survive.

How much writing have you done since 2016?

(IM): Since 2016, I’ve only had the one book, Promenade of Desire. I’m working on my next book now. But I’ve also had personal essays published in literary and general magazines, like Wired or The Chicago Quarterly Review. One of my essays, “My Books and I,” was listed as Notable in 2019 in the Best American Essays Anthology.

You are also a very strong in marketing what you write.  Can you share any tips with us?

(IM):  While I love the creativity of writing, I also love reaching my readers, and I pay a lot of attention to my website and social media.   When I started, I had a pretty well developed experience in digital marketing because I had been managing the online content in my corporate job, so that was a big help. But I am constantly educating myself, and I found the marketing webinars that She Writes Press offered quite useful. I also took mastermind courses and workshops on how to create an author’s website, start a newsletter, and so on. When I started working with my web designer, I understood how to choose what to show and what to communicate in an author’s website. My designer chose a theme, and I gave him the content. I change the website’s content as often as needed. Right now I am changing the events page to “Keynotes and Talks”, for example.  Additionally, I belong to several writers groups and I am always learning from other writers.   

What do you emphasize in your marketing?

(IM):  My website gives a well-rounded picture of who I am as an author and it has three main areas: my book, public speaking, and my business.

When I launched the website, I wanted people to subscribe to my newsletter because, I didn’t have the book yet. Now I want to sell the book, so it is the first thing I have on my website so people can read reviews and they can make their purchase. 

Then we have “Events” or rather now “Keynotes and Talks.”  I love public speaking, teaching and connecting with people. These are indirect marketing methods that I use where I offer information that is enlightening, inspiring and entertaining, instead of talking about my book. Currently I am teaching the history of Spain and its transition from dictatorship to democracy at OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute) in several universities.  It’s a topic that not many people can teach well. It relates to the historical context of my memoir and helps sell my book indirectly by bringing value and information to my audience. I also speak at conferences on the craft of writing and about inspirational topics for women. 

For example, “How to choose a great title for your book” and “Truth in memoir” are not about my book directly but they touch topics related to my book so people often feel they want to know what else I have to offer and check my book out. I also do the public speaking events, both paid and unpaid, because they help me reach increasingly bigger audiences.  

The third part of my website is the “Work with me” tab where people can see what I offer as a writing coach, development editor and ghostwriter.

How does the WNBA-SF Chapter fit into your activities?

(IM):  I served on the Board for our chapter and I love the literary community that connects me with other writers. I love our high caliber events that enable writers to learn how to pitch their work and our various literary readings. This year we had a new book release party featuring ten WNBA member books which was fantastic. I also help moderate panels and suggest topics. For Pitch-O-Rama 2023, I am the head of the marketing committee.

Any final advice?

(IM): Of course! Check out my book!

This interview was conducted by fellow WNBA-SF Board Member Fran Quittel, ComputerWorld’s (now retired) career columnist and business author.  Fran is also the author of The Central Park Lost Mitten Party which celebrates the magical powers of lost objects inside New York City’s iconic Central Park.