Anne Marina Pellicciotto is a multi talented and multidisciplined individual. Not only a talented writer, but also the President of SeeChange Consulting, a woman-owned Certified Business Enterprise as well as a returned Peace Corps Volunteer in Mexico. Her diverse lived experiences fuel her life philosophies and methodologies.
What inspired you to start writing your book, Strings Attached: A Memoir of Marriage, Music and Escape?
(AMP): Just freed, at 27, from the marriage to my music teacher predator, a relationship that began when I was 15, I started writing the secret scandalous story at as a novel. I suppose I was attempting, in those early years, to out myself – and him – but in a safe way. I got encouraging feedback from the continuing ed class at Georgetown: “Feels like you’re right there, inside that girl’s skin.” “Verisimilitude,” the teacher complimented. I was new to writing, so that felt good. But they also said my story was not too believable – the age difference, the fact that he was married and I (a girl named Eve) was the babysitter. I put the manuscript aside and got on with my career as a systems analyst – and the journey to discover who the heck, apart from my music teacher predator ex, I was. Those were some dangerous years of experimentation that also involved a lot of therapy and medication.
Two decades later, at 50, in the aftermath of my mother’s terrible cancer death, retriggered by ghosts of the past, I unearthed the novel manuscript – along with a shoebox of well-preserved memorabilia from those undercover teenage years. With Mom gone – she’s a key complex character in my transgressive coming-of-age story – I was free to write the book as truth. Over the intervening years – as if preparing for this moment – I had consumed memoirs – by Mary Karr and Joyce Meynard and Vivian Gornick, to name a few. I joined a Bethesda Writer’s Center program to complete your book project in a year. I had no idea what a journey I had ahead of me.
A neon posterboard of My Big Beautiful Book Goals stares me at the face each day from the wall above my desk. The first and foremost goal on the list: To write for the creative, cathartic joy of in hopes of touching and inspiring others. Now that I’ve completed the fifth, maybe sixth rewrite of my manuscript and I begin the harrowing process of birthing my book baby into the world, I try to remember: this book is no longer about me. We are all wounded in some way. The readers of Strings Attached are yearning for permission – an invitation – to release themselves from unearned shame and live their lives out of the shadows, fully, powerfully, joyfully.
As the President of SeeChange LLC, what advice can you give to both aspiring female authors and entrepreneurs alike?
(AMP): Haha, I started my own company because, well, I got fired from every job I’d ever been in. I was not one to take to rules and structures and restrictions – especially since I’d been confined in a box at such a young age by my predator music teacher.
The problem with the corporate world – especially the burgeoning IT world .com world of the 90s and 2000s – they could handle creativity – unconventionality – out-of-the box thinking – especially from a woman. Though they sure did pay it lip-service. I was tired of having my ideas received with a blank stare.
So, at 33 I took a MS in Organization and Human Development – with the aim to bring a more creative, humanistic perspective to the organizational improvement. My practicum project became the basis of holistic approach I would bring my clients. Upon graduation, in 2001, I launch SeeChange and have been going strong ever since. My advice? Never allow your creativity to be squelched. If you feel that constriction – be in work or in relationship – get out. It’s not always easy going it on your own – you must weather a lot of ups and downs and oftentimes on your own. What’s more, the independent life may not be quite as lucrative as working for the man. But your creative freedom is priceless.
How would you describe your writing process?
(AMP): I am pretty disciplined – as an indy for so many years, I have learned to be – and I believe it’s part of my nature. I begin my day (as early as I can – and I’m not a morning person) with a routine of yoga to get the energy and breath flowing. Then, with a cup of ginger turmeric tea, I sit down to my Morning Pages (a la Julia Cameron, The Right to Write and The Artist’s Way). In my journal, I let the muse go where she wants – oftentimes it’s meditative, like sights, sounds and smell entering my sense doors. Sometimes, it’s boring to-do lists or lists of accomplishments. But oftentimes the journaling becomes the writing and I find I’ve written passages or scenes from my current project into my composition notebook. I flag those with Postits and then, when I sit down to my computer, I merely need to transcribe. I have a note taped to my desk that says: “Just type – no conditions.” Because, sometimes. I put such pressure on myself to accomplish something – and my muse doesn’t like that. She freezes. And the writing day is a total struggle. So, I have to keep reminding myself – back to my #1 goal for my memoir – “to write for the creative, cathartic joy of it.” Oh, yeah, to protect my muse inside our creative bubble, I keep my phone and Internet powered off until I am done, around 1 or 2 pm. It’s blissful.
Your philosophy of head and heart, science and art is admirable! How do you incorporate those principles in both your life and writing?
(AMP): Great question. I do need to update my website because my philosophy has expanded to include the body: head, heart and body.
Creativity, I once read (Stephen Nachmanovitch, Freeplay) is an act of making decisions. As humans, as writers, we are constantly making choices about what’s in, what’s out – what characters motivations are – where we show in scene and where we tell in summary – and at a larger lever, where to direct our creative energy – into what project or essay or poem. Whether and when to take a pause.
These choices can’t be made solely from the head – using a tool I learned in business school called the Decision Matrix. Sure, logic has its place; we need good information to good make decisions. But the heart and gut must be involved. The answers come to these other two brains. From sitting in stillness, chanting mantra, moving the body in yoga. By planting seeds – asking questions – tapping into our intuition – that’s when the most creative answers and ideas arise.
Lately, I’ve struggling with some important life decision – feeling the effects of so much dis-harmony and uncertainty in our country and our world. I have a Postit note stuck to my mirror that stares me in the face each morning: What’s in harmony with the Divine Design for my life?
The answer has been emerging, little by little – by paying attention, I feel the answer either as tightness – for me in my lumbar spine, shoulders, or jaw. Or, when an idea finally resonates, a truth becomes clear, I feel relaxation, calmness, feet more grounded on the earth, and a little bit of excitement in my belly.
I use my journal to translate the sensations into words. Sometimes that works. As long as I don’t jump from the feeling to the page too quick. Developing this heart-mind-body intuition is a daily practice of making space for the truth to arise – and be there to witness it. This practice has been essential to my writing.
It seems you have lived many lives, from consulting, to the Peace Corps, and into your holistic healing journey. How have these experiences shaped your perspective as a writer?
(AMP): Yes, I love exploring new places, people and lives. I am an experiential learner. Living new experiences gives me both material about which to write – and the volition to do so.
For instance, I am embarking on a new book project based on my last four madcap years living the nomad life. Crooked Spine Chronicles is the story about how, practically crippled with severe scoliosis and in suicide-level pain, I defy doctors order to fuse my spine with rods and bolts and, instead, take to the road. I will not let them to immobilize me. Washington, DC to Santa FE, Durango to Escalante, Sedona, Joshua Tree, LA – I encounter shaman, yogis, PTs, body workers, psychotherapists, tarot readers, psychedelic guides and, lovers. Turns out the universe is conspiring to save me!
All along my journey, I posted stories to my blog of ups and downs, twists and turns and lessons-learned. Now, I am turning those stories into a book with the aim to help others discover their inner power to heal – and to live their most vital, adventurous and pain-free lives. Oh, yes, that Peace Corps memoir is stuffed in shoebox somewhere waiting for the harmony moment to be reworked. It even has a title: Dance the Huapango: Madcap Misadventures of a Mid-Career Volunteer South of the Border.
Please connect with me via my blog at www.seechangeconsulting.com/blog or befriend me on social media and let’s dialogue. Writing needn’t be such an isolating process. Thanks to WNBA-SF, I feel part of a vibrant and creative community.
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